Good or Bad? Who Knows? The Story That Changed How I See Life
Have you ever noticed how quickly we judge what happens to us? An ancient story about a wise man and his horse — and the question that can change how you experience every chapter of your life.
Have you ever noticed how quickly we judge what happens to us? We lose a job. Bad. A relationship ends. Bad. A client cancels. Bad. We receive unexpected money. Good. We fall in love. Good. A new opportunity appears. Good.
Our minds are constantly labeling experiences. Good. Bad. Success. Failure. Blessing. Disaster.
But what if we don't actually know? What if the thing that seems like a problem today becomes the reason something beautiful happens tomorrow?
There is an ancient story I often share with my coaching clients when life isn't going according to plan. It goes like this.
The Wise Man and the Horse
There once lived a wise man in a small village. He wasn't rich. He wasn't powerful. But he owned a magnificent horse. The horse was so beautiful that people came from neighboring villages just to admire it.
One day a king passed through the village. When he saw the horse, he immediately wanted it. “I'll give you a fortune for this animal,” he said. But the wise man simply smiled. “No, thank you. This horse is family.”
Not long after, the horse disappeared. It ran away. The villagers shook their heads. “What terrible luck!” “You should have taken the king's money!” “This is a disaster!”
“The wise man calmly replied: "Good? Bad? Who knows? We'll see."”
Several weeks later, the horse returned. And it wasn't alone. It brought back five wild horses. The villagers were amazed. “What incredible luck!” “You've become rich!” “You're the luckiest man in the village!” Again the wise man smiled. “Good? Bad? Who knows? We'll see.”
The man's son began training the wild horses. One of them threw him to the ground. He broke both legs. The villagers were horrified. “What a tragedy!” “How terrible!” Again the wise man replied: “Good? Bad? Who knows? We'll see.”
A week later, the kingdom went to war. Every young man in the village was forced to join the army. Except the wise man's son. Because of his broken legs, he stayed home. Safe. And once again the villagers said: “What incredible luck!” And once again the wise man replied: “Good? Bad? Who knows? We'll see.”
Why This Story Matters
When people first hear this story, they usually smile. But then something deeper begins to happen. They realize how often they do exactly what the villagers did.
We judge situations immediately. We assume we know the meaning of events. We decide that something is terrible. Or wonderful. Without knowing how the story will unfold.
“Life is rarely happening in a straight line. It unfolds in chapters. And we often judge a chapter as if it were the entire book.”
The Psychology Behind the Story
One of the most fascinating discoveries in psychology is that human beings are surprisingly bad at predicting what will make them happy. Researchers call this affective forecasting.
We believe: “If I get that promotion, I'll finally be happy.” “If this relationship ends, I'll never recover.” “If I lose this opportunity, everything is ruined.”
But study after study shows that people adapt far more quickly than they expect. The thing we feared often becomes manageable. And the thing we desired doesn't always bring the fulfillment we imagined. Life is far more complex than our predictions.
“Events themselves are neutral. It is our interpretation that creates suffering.”
Some of the Best Things in My Life Started as Problems
If you've lived long enough, you've probably experienced this yourself.
Maybe a rejection led you toward a better opportunity. Maybe losing a job pushed you to create a business. Maybe a heartbreak led you to discover your own worth. Maybe a difficult period forced you to grow in ways comfort never could.
Looking back, many people realize that what felt like a curse was actually a turning point. But they could only see it with hindsight. Not while it was happening.
The Coaching Perspective
One of the things I often help clients do is separate the event from the story.
The event is real. The story is an interpretation. And interpretations can change.
This simple distinction often creates enormous freedom. Because once we stop assuming we know what an event means, we become open to new possibilities.
The Spiritual Perspective
Many spiritual traditions teach that life is unfolding in ways we cannot always understand from our limited perspective.
Imagine reading only one page of a novel. You would have no idea how the story ends. Yet this is often how we judge our lives. Something happens. We immediately decide what it means. We forget that life may still be writing the next chapter.
“Sometimes what appears to be a closed door is actually a redirection. Sometimes what feels like loss creates space for something new. Sometimes what we call failure is simply preparation.”
The Next Time Life Doesn't Go According to Plan...
The next time something unexpected happens... The next time a door closes... The next time life surprises you... Pause. Take a breath. And remember the wise man.
Instead of immediately deciding: “This is terrible.” Or: “This is amazing.” Try saying: Good? Bad? Who knows? We'll see.
Sometimes the greatest wisdom is not knowing. It is trusting that the next page has not been written yet.
— with love,
Ivaneta